Just Say No to Perfection

I have recently noticed how fragile ideas are. As I have mentioned before, I come up with a lot of them, but I have increasingly noticed that I'm shooting them down almost as quickly as they appear. I think this is because I'm remembering the many ideas that have come before and judging myself on the fact that they haven't all worked out perfectly. OK, so none of them have worked out perfectly! I had a wonderful psychology teacher who discussed the "Circle of Thought" with us, and the fact that we can choose how we see our past by simply changing the way we judge its events.


Basically, the "Circle of Thought" is all about four features of our action and memory:

1. We take an action (which may be having a thought or idea)
2. We apply previous learning to the action to give it shape and form
3. We observe the response
4. We learn from the experience

And thus begins the circle. We apply all previous learning to our future actions.

For me, I think that I'm interpreting my past "reactions" as failure. By applying perfectionist attitudes to the learning that shapes and molds my future, I risk crippling my ability to move forward freely and intentionally.

Today I'm working on a new idea, and my main focus is to remember that perfection is a myth. The best that I can do is work on learning from past actions/reactions and applying my best knowledge to each new situation.

Balancing Perfection with Getting Things Done

When you start a business, you need to establish some basic marketing materials: a logo; a website; a brochure; stationery; etc. I have noticed (in my work with clients) that some people have more trouble getting through these steps than others, and I think it has something to do with striving for perfection, which can also be thought of as a fear of doing things wrong.

Some psychologists say that in pursuing perfection we are actually avoiding failure. We are so afraid of putting ourselves out there that we hold back, delaying the processes that will make us a possible target for feedback.

What I have found is that putting our faith in someone else and allowing that person to help by building a website for us, or putting out a press release on our business, or otherwise promoting us to the world, can be terrifying for someone striving for perfection.

But, of course, we can't just ignore our perfectionist tendencies. Sometimes they are valid signals that the quality we seek is not being achieved. Thus, the true challenge is learning to discern perfectionism, or the avoidance of fear, from quality action, or the pursuit of something that accurately reflects us.

Obviously, this is not easy, and it is something that I and my clients struggle with regularly. What I have found is that just becoming aware of this balancing act and having empathy for our fear can sometimes help us get to quality action.